October 11th Reading Reflection ー Maya

 The readings for this week seemed to all be attached to a theme of bitterness or contempt for modern life-- less in a romantic angle than that of last week. The main characters in each story all seem to be alienated from their peers in contemporary society, especially in "Full of Malice" and "I Want To Kick You In The Back". Though they were distinctly in two different genres (with "Full of Malice" clearly leaning into more fantastical elements, while "I Want To Kick You In The Back" being more grounded), both feature characters that were deeply hurt by situations of their past. In the first story, the protagonist is desperate to find out what happened to their brother. The story seems to have the white building symbolize daily life, and the expectation that people have to be complacent and happy in society all of the time, which the character rejects until getting lobotomized. One thing I found interesting, though I am not sure what to make of it, was the fact the mother ran away from the building while approaching. At the start of the story, I thought this could have been a bit of an admission of guilt in putting the younger brother in this situation, but with the added context of the fantastical elements towards the end, I'm not sure how to interpret it. 

"I Want To Kick You In The Back" plays out in a more realistic way. The main character is clearly deeply hurt by her interactions with the others, and her bitterness and resentment could be part of the reason that others are so put off by her, as she doesn't even try to actively engage with them. Despite this, I found her inherent desire to fit in (although she tries to make it seem like she doesn't care) quite relatable, especially her disappointment at being "used" to get closer to Oli-chan, rather than him wanting to get closer to her as a person.

I thought that Ao Omae's story was a nice tie-in to some of our previous discussions last week, as the story not only touched on alienation but also loveless relationships. The main character has a desire to be in a relationship, but only so he can appear "normal", not because of genuine feelings. It was interesting to see him grapple with his not-quite-romantic but more-than-platonic feelings towards Mugito, and how he dealt with trying to still be a "boyfriend" to another while feeling guilty for thinking about Mugito constantly.